At the 1:04 mark Corey is pondering the direction of his future career and he says he wants to transition from ‘young brother’ to ‘older brother’ or possibly the ‘only brother.’ You can not write stuff like this folks. If a line like ‘only brother’ were in a Christopher Guest mock-umentary about child stars, it would be he killer line at the end of the trailer.

At the 6:08 mark, 1989 Corey thinks 1999 Corey will be living in a mansion in Tahiti. After making this 10 minute documentary that’s production and acting doesn’t rise above gay porn, I wonder if he really knew what was in store for him in 1999 and then ultimately in 2010.

It is from The Onion newscast and it needs no more introduction.

Not even the hip gyrating, over en-un-ci-a-ting, shrill shill Kathy Ireland could save this entertainment daisy chain of a broadcast.  ABC had the pick of the litter of all the A listers in Hollywood on Oscar night, yet they decide to start this telecast off with Jake Gyllenhaal?  Well maybe because his new movie Price Of Persia is a Disney production.  Even he seems surprised at the first hack, open ended question “won’t you please tell us about this movie?”

They follow that lap-fest up with an interview with Disney star Zac Effron and then fawn all over Miley Cyrus, Disney/ABC’s biggest teen asset, telling her that she has “mastered comedy” in her new Disney film The Last Song.  Mastered comedy? If you listen closely at the end of that clip you can hear Peter Sellers rolling over in his grave.

Turn that shit it up, indeed.  My pal Nick co-created, co-wrote and co-executive produced  this baby and I wish him well.  This is his first-quarter-life’s magnum opus.  If T-pain and Lil Wayne aren’t part of your magnum opus then you need to take that shit back to the drawing board.

When I asked Nick what this show means, he told me that it will mark ‘the de-Cam’ron of the hip hop nation.’ Now we all love Killa Season and we shouldn’t jump to any conclusions but when asked what his favorite thing before Freaknik The Musical was he cooly responded ‘The Wiz.’ Now my expectations for this show are all through the roof.

Be sure to Tivo it this Sunday at 11:30pm on The Cartoon Network

UPDATE:  The New York Times picked up the story after Snore HERE

Stoning is actually a pretty ingenious way for a society to kill someone or something. It relieves an individual’s guilt for having killed a man because it is not just one man that is doing the killing and at the same time it cathartically gets the anger out of the group for what ever offense was committed against it or an individual. It also severs as a strong deterrent for the rest of society from committing crimes.

The problem with holding an animal up to God’s laws is that a big dumb ox is not aware of God’s or man’s laws. It only obeys two laws; survive and fuck. When either of these are tampered with, an ox or a killer whale is liable to do something rash. Not because it is good or evil, but because it is 100 million years of evolution telling it to do so.
Chris Rock famously said that when a tiger killed it’s trainer and people said ‘that tiger went crazy!’ But he  said “no he didn’t. That tiger went tiger.”

You think any of this is new?  It’s not. In 1916 in Tennessee, of course, a circus elephant was hung because it killed a human. It was mostly a P.R. move but nonetheless, that elephant swung until it died.

I think this killer whale should get stoned. That is unless she repents.

This really shows the insidiousness of the laugh track.  It has trained all of to laugh when things are not funny. It is a false forced enjoyment.  You do not see this anywhere else except when a warm up act says “are you ready to have fun?”  And  you know how much fun that can be.

Poor Groucho Marx who had to earn every laugh in his career saw the invention of the ‘laff box’ in his lifetime and rightfully predicted that it would be the end of stage comedy.

If you want to know exactly how trained you are, I defy you not to laugh when the guy in this clip calls the cop ’shiny head motherfucker”

She breaks three journalism rules inside of 2 minutes. First she puts words in the mouth of her subject, she then becomes part of the story by ‘volunteering’ to push a cab out of a drift and finally she goes all the way downstairs of the Fox News Building and interviews an employee.

Today’s clip is from a 1987 episode of Oprah where she interviews Mel Gibson when he was at the peak of his powers.  It is not or me to question the internet as to why this clip has German subtitles because I am sure they know what they are doing.  Regardless, it is just great to see the 1987’s Sexiest Man Alive have a hair showdown with a female crowd member who tries to butter up the 31 year old Gibson by saying he looks 20. (Who wants to be told they look 20, incidentally? 20 year olds are scrawny and have acne)

This girl is also so awestruck by Gibson’s hair that she stumbles over her second question and mistakenly asks him how his wife feels about being The Sexiest Man Alive? I imagine that she would be pretty pissed about winning that.  If indeed she had won that award one can only imagine how hot it gets when two of the Sexiest Men Alive have sex. Maybe Robert Patterson from Twilight and Ed Westwick from Gossip Girls would be able to tell you. (Separately they could tell you. Not together of course.)

Also take notice of two things that stopped happening soon after this clip aired; people smoking on television and Mel Gibson’s Australian accent.